If you can't afford to go travelling just now, the next best thing is to live vicariously through someone who has. It may be a sign of our economic times that there seems to be fewer armchair travel books out than usual. That's a shame. Nothing like flitting off to Patagonia or the south of France with someone else who's had to foot the bill and mangle the language. Especially if they suffer along the way.
It probably reveals a lot about me that I don't enjoy books about people upping stakes to Tuscany, discovering the ineffable beauty of life and launching their own line of spumante. Smug b-----s. I like books about people who go to Moldova, eat unspeakable things, have their pants mauled by goats, and narrowly avoid being married to someone's hairy, toothless cousin. Now
that's entertainment.
But I realise that not all my readers share such gentle tastes. I have therefore compiled a list of recent travel stories that may amuse, inspire or possibly educate.
Goats not guaranteed.
The Further Adventures of an Idiot Abroad - Karl Pilkington
Britain's favourite idiot is back. Safely home from his latest travels, Karl has decided it is time to share his hard-earned wisdom of the world. Taking the bucket list '100 Things to Do Before You Die' as his starting point, Karl combines brilliant stories from his recent adventures to
Alaska,
Siberia and beyond.
Follow the Money: A Month in the Life of a Ten-Dollar Bill - Steve Boggan
British journalist Steve Boggan sets free a ten-dollar bill and accompanies it on its journey for thirty days and thirty nights across 3,300 miles. As he cuts crops with farmers in Kansas, gets wasted with a blues band in Arkansas and hangs out at a quarterback's mansion in St Louis, Boggan enters the lives of ordinary (and extraordinary) people as they receive and pass on the bill. Add the missionaries from
Missouri, the Amish in
Michigan, the banker from
Chicago and the deer hunters from
Detroit, and what emerges is a chaotic, affectionate and funny portrait of a modern-day
America that tourists rarely see.
Swiss Watching: Inside the Land of Milk and Money - Diccon Bewes
A portrait of the land and its people - bristling with guns, but famed for its neutrality, the home of ground-breaking science and technology, but also stifling tradition, and where cuckoo clocks are actually from over the border, 80 per cent of the population is from somewhere else, and trains don't
always run on time! Welcome to Switzerland, a land about so much more than clocks, chocolate and cheese.
100 Places You Will Never Visit: The World's Most Secret Locations - Dan Smith
Included in this descriptive guide to top-secret tourist destinations are
Fort Knox, the Coca-Cola safety deposit box, the Tora Bora caves in
Afghanistan, the Tucson Titan missile site, the Vatican Archives, Three Mile Island and the Chapel of the
Ark in
Ethiopia. The world is full of secret places that we either don't know about, or couldn't visit even if we wanted to. This is the only way in.
Crazy River: A Plunge Into Africa - Richard Grant
No one travels like actor and madman Richard (E.) Grant, and really, no one should. He gets waylaid by thieves and hookers before he even sets off to explore the uncharted
Malagarasi, and dodges more than a few bullets. As well as hippos, crocodiles and civil war, and a fever that wants to ensure there's never a
Withnail 2. Grant secures an audience with the president of
Rwanda, before finally casting up on the shores of the
Nile, a more well-travelled, but no wiser, man.
Touching the World: A Blind Woman, Two Wheels and 25,000 Miles - Cathy Birchall
Cathy Birchall is the first blind person ever to circumnavigate the globe on a motorcycle, covering 26,385 miles, 31 countries and five continents on an 18-year-old bike. From India to Machu Picchu, this is a travel story from another perspective. On their travels Cathy and her companion Bernard overcome every obstacle with strength and courage - helped in generous measure by the unwavering kindness of strangers around the world.
Meander: East to West Along a Turkish River - Jeremy Seal
The Meander River is so famously indirect that its name has come to signify digression. Jeremy Seal travels it in a one-man canoe from
Turkey's steppe interior - the stamping ground of such illustrious adventurers as Xerxes, Alexander the Great and the Crusader Kings - to the great port city of
Miletus, home of the earliest Western philosophers. Along the way he unpicks the history of this remarkable region, and encounters a rich assortment of contemporary characters.
The Green Road into the Trees: An Exploration of England - Hugh Thomson
Hugh Thomson's 400-mile journey to the coast through the old ways of
England, used by its ancient peoples. Along the way he relates remarkable findings about the Celts, Saxons and Vikings that have yet to reach the wider public, and meets a host of modern eccentrics who cast light on England as it is now.
Brazil - Michael Palin
The latest from the former Python and frequent flier, to accompany a new series. From the Venezuelan border and the forests of the Lost World where he encounters the Yanomami and their ongoing territorial war with the gold miners, Palin follows Teddy Roosevelt's disastrous expedition of 1914. He encounters the hunter-gatherers of the interior, the descendants of African slaves with their culture of rituals and festivals and music, the large German community and the wealthy guachas of the Pantanal.
Looking for Adventure - Stephen Backshall
After a rainy-day visit to the museum, seven-year-old Steve Backshall became obsessed with exploring the vast, untamed wildness of Papua New Guinea. Full of incredible wildlife, extraordinary wilderness, jungles, cannibals, pitfalls, triumph, danger and excitement, Looking for Adventure is the irresistible, inspiring story of a little boy who let his heart rule his head.
Men on the menu: delicious affairs from around the world / Bambi Smyth
Hitchy feet: a grown-up;s guide to running away from home and accidentally getting a life / John Card
The thing about Prague: how I gave it all up for a new life in Europe's most eccentric city / Rachael Weiss
"A compilation of New Zealand's distinctive and sometimes wild and
dramatic seasonal weather images, with comments and descriptions from
the country's longest-serving television weatherman, Jim Hickey." 
"From former and
current players to lifelong, one-eyed rugby fans and coaches, The Heart
of our Game tells, in modern Kiwi-speak, just what the game of rugby
means to us today."
Great kiwi firsts / Astral Sligo.
Urban chicks : celebrating backyard chooks in the city / Trevor Newman and Renée Lang.
The power of us : New Zealander's who dare to dream 
A fabled land : the story of Canterbury's famous Mesopotamia Station / Bruce Ansley.
Back to the land : a year of country gardening / Lynda Hallinan
On song : stories behind New Zealand pop classics / Simon Sweetman. 
Secrets & treasures : our stories told through the objects at Archives New Zealand / Ray Waru.
Food heroes / Simon Farrell-Green ; photography by Duncan Innes. 
The Kiwi ute driver's guide to life / Steve Holmes.
