Review: Inferno by Dan Brown [Jan]

Robert Langdon wakes up in a hospital bed in Italy, shot and no memory of how or why it happened.  All he can remember is a beautiful woman sitting in a painting depicting Dante’s Gates of Hell, urging him to seek and find something.  A spiky haired woman tries to assassinate him and he flees for his life with the assistance of an attractive young doctor.

Sienna Brooks is a doctor, used to saving lives and being in control.  She saved a patient’s life and is now being pursued through the streets of Rome by the police, military, mercenaries, and an assassin.  The former child actor has a genius IQ and uncertain immigration status that means she does not want to be noticed.

Fast-paced and with plenty of action, the plot is tightly written with intriguing clues dropped throughout that reveal a clever but horrific plan.  As pieces began slotting together small pieces of the puzzle began to emerge but certain events remained a mystery and I couldn’t understand them, like the head of the WHO and the man she met.  Was she working with him or thwarting him?   There were a few shocks as people’s secrets were revealed and all the pieces came together right at the very end to display.  I did not guess what was coming before it unfolded and I wondered how I missed it.

Set in the exotic streets of Florence, medieval Italian literature and artworks are explored, as Dante’s Inferno is key to the plan.  History and art buffs will either enjoy this story or pick holes in the authenticity of the story.  Fans of a cleverly written thriller will be delighted with this book.  I thought the plan was grotesque and so wrong, but worryingly I can see the sensible side of it.

Read this latest masterpiece from Dan Brown.  It’s a gripping read.

Title: Inferno
Author: Dan Brown
Published: Bantam Press, 2013
Reviewer: Jan

Love to hate

I can be pretty judgemental. In fact, what I think are well-phrased arguments delivered in a persuasive manner can sound, to some people, like the pronouncements of God, or Simon Cowell. It's not until I notice them cowering in a corner with their eyes darting all over the place that I realise I've frightened them off - yet again. Whoops.

I still get incredibly hurt when friends say "But you don't like anything". It makes me sound like Bitchelinda de Curdlemilk-Snottington. There are many things I love. Beyond reason. I just - know when I don't.

So this week I'm unmuzzling my inner critic. Celebrating my darkest disdainianism. Pooh-poohing till it's positively unsanitary.

Step in, if you dare, to Scriven's Gallery of Horrors. Feel free to request any of the titles on this list, by the way - it's only my opinion.

James Patterson - Any title
Poor guy. He gets a bad rap from critics, he really does. And it's wholly undeserved. Fact is, he doesn't even write most of his stuff anymore. I think a computer programme does it through algorithms or something of that nature. Or possibly they've finally trained gibbons to type. That would explain the short chapters. There are only so many words in their vocabulary.

In three words: Kill Alex Cross.

Dan Brown - Any title
Yeah, well, so, I'm picking on the easy targets. Anyway, there's nothing I could possibly write that 1,000,023 other critics haven't already spewed out. I confess, I did enjoy The Da Vinci Code, which was a fine, suspension-of-disbelief thrill ride. Then everyone else started raving and it totally lost its appeal. Come on, guys, even I got the mirror writing before Robert I'm-supposed-to-have-a-doctorate-in-this Langdon. So did my dog. It's not Pride and Prejudice.

Lee Child - Any title
Meh.

Now that's spare storytelling.

Titanic - James Cameron
I remember seeing the trailer for this movie and snorting "Who's going to want to see that crap?" That year I realised why everyone bullied me.

But the rest of the world is wrong. You're all wrong.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Trilogy
I don't hate The Hobbit. I don't even dislike it. It makes the list, however, because I find it totally overrated. As a children's story, which it is, it's just OK. As a seminal work of inspiration to generations of hippies - wtf? It gets brownie points for being first among fantasies, but that's all. To me it's just a pleasant, slight bunch of episodes about a hairy little humanoid - and the movie is even more episodic. Three films? I nearly fell off my chair.

But I repeat - Martin Freeman can do no wrong. Ever.

Bones - TV series
I found this sort of thing funny when I was 14. Not!

Glee - TV series
What's all the song and dance about? Aaaand that was about as funny as the show. Like, eww?

Elementary - TV series
They put that up against the BBC version? It's like watching West Auckland FC playing Brazil...Wearing flippers.

Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn
Nasty screwed-up people trying to screw each other up even more. Nope.

Miranda - TV series
Haha. Nope. Or Is It Just Me?

The Simpsons - TV series
I used to love The Simpsons. It was the cleverest, funniest thing on TV for a long time. A long time ago. Now it's a positive telezombie. Retire it before the torches come out.

I could not possibly comment on Game of Thrones because I just can't bring myself to watch it. So, does anyone out there agree with me? What do you love to hate?