Shoot Them Up, Blow Them Up: My Kind of Valentine

Don't you just hate it when a perfectly good action story is ruined by an romantic interlude.  And I don't just mean a quick kiss and "I love you honey" type of thing.  I'm talking full out romance, the drawn out looks, the long speech, the whole package.

I mean come on... we've got time to declare our undying love for each other while people are shooting at us and the world is generally going to hell with a handgun.

Really???

Somehow I don't think so.

And it's kind of sad that writers think that the only way a woman can enjoy a action story is to have some romance thrown in.  Personally I enjoy nothing more than a shoot them up, blow them up kind of movie where the romance is minimal or even better non existent.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm a big believer in romance - of all varieties.  Whether it's true love, soul mates, love at first sight, I'm there.  I just don't need romance for the sake of romance or because I'm a chick.

I'd much rather have an action story be what it is: gripping, exciting with the odd touch of humour and filled with explosions, kick ass fighting, baddies to cheer for and men who don't take no for an answer.

Skyfall

How can you go wrong with a James Bond movie and the latest is definitely one of the best.  There's a baddie whose a little bit psycho, explosions, shoot outs and kick ass fighting.

God this is so my kind of movie and the perfect movie to watch on Valentine's Day.

After all nothing says romance like 'Honey pass me the gun so I can kill some bad guys'  
 The Avengers

I've been a fan of Joss Whedon for years.  After all he created one of the best shows ever in the form of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and he is just brilliant at creating and writing well rounded characters, flaws and all.

So hearing that he wrote and directed The Avengers was more than reason enough to see it and of course it doesn't disappoint.  The characters aren't quite as fleshed out but then again this is a movie not a TV series so time is limited.  There is though enough of his usual touches with some great one liners and moments of humour plus some serious ass kicking.

The Long Kiss Goodnight

 Now this is my kind of movie.

A heroine who doesn't need rescuing but who can quite easily rescue herself and take out a few bad guys along the way.

Even better she gives the ultimate pay back to a lover gone bad. Yes!


Aliens

Another kick ass heroine and one of the best action sci-fi movies ever made. This is the ultimate movie.  And one where fans know the words line by line (trust me - having witness a cinema full of guys quoting the lines at an anniversary screening was one of the funniest thing... EVER!)

This time the baddies aren't CIA or criminals on the run but aliens who are out to make your life hell.

Don't you just hate it when the world needs rescuing from suck face aliens.

Die Hard

Die Hard is not only my go to movie for Christmas but is also a perfect Valentine's Day movie.

There's the divinely wonderful baddie in the form of Alan Rickman (be still my beating heart...), explosions galore and one liners that make the heart flutter.

Who needs romance when you've got terrorists to cheer for.

Kick Ass

A boy who wants to be a super-hero meets a girl who kind of is.

Kick Ass the movie might be called but Hit Girl is the star of this all out bloody, funny, action movie.

With her purple hair, cool cape and black eye mask Hit Girl is the idol of many a girl (and women).

Even better Kick Ass 2 is due for release later this year and Hit Girl is back, older and badassier than ever.

Person of Interest

There is no romance in this show except for the bromance (and those out there know what I mean) between the characters of Reese and Finch, and it's perfect because of that.

Finch is the brains and Reese... well he's the muscle.  A stealthy,  deadlier, shoot-first-ask-questions-later kind of guy and between them their out to help 'The Machine' save the lives of people who find themselves in bad situations.

It's a perfect blend of conspiracy, corruption, crime and ... comrade-a-ship.

All I can say is... bring on the mayhem!

I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can

'I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as... monologues.' - Liz Lemon*

If you're like me and you're too busy being awesome to be in a relationship or you're also like me and you think that "Valentine's Day is a sham created by card companies to reinforce and exploit gender stereotypes" (another Liz Lemon classic) then here are some things that you can do to survive Valentine's day without killing anyone:

1. Eat Your Feelings: This one depends on how lazy you are but you can either buy or cook a whole bunch of really yummy food that is really bad for you and than eat it all. I personally like to watch the Gene Wilder version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory while eating chocolate. 

Kiwi Favourites: New Zealand's Most Popular Recipes is a good one if you feeling like baking all of the food before you scoff it. I really like the Ginger Crunch and Lolly Cake recipes.

2. Treat Yo' Self: Go buy things. Clothes, shoes, more food, manicures, pedicures, other cliché things women spend money on. Whatever tickles your fancy; buy it. Or if you're saving the pennies then treat yo' self at home! Put some cucumbers on those tired eyes, avocado on your face, make yourself a cocktail and lie out in the sun. 

Bobbi Brown pretty powerful : beauty stories to inspire confidence This book is great because not only does it give you tips and instructions on how to do your make up but also on skin care and self confidence.

Lauren Conrad Beauty Okay, so I know that this is the girl from the Hills but her books 'Style' and 'Beauty'  are actually really good. Loads of tips on hair, make up, skin care, nails, fitness and food.

3. Have more fun by yourself than your friends with their lame partners.
Make stuff! We have hundreds of arts and crafts books at the library so just go crazy and make a whole bunch of stuff and then keep it for yourself! Go to a museum, an art gallery, an ice skating rink, the zoo! Think of something you've always wanted to do and just do it. Make sure you take a camera and some food that's bad for you!

4. All the single Ladies (Gal-entine's Day)
Better yet. Do all of the above with your other cynical single friends. (Not that you need anybody; you're an independent woman who don't need no man. Cynicism is just generally more fun as a group activity.) Then dance around to this song:

Good luck out there comrades and a happy Anna Howard Shaw day to us all!

*30 Rock Ep 413 'Anna Howard Shaw Day'

Love and (chocolate) kisses

Happy Valentine's Day, to all you lovers out there. Being a complete cynic, I think it's an utter crock, myself - if your partner needs reminding to appreciate you, that's nothing to celebrate, really. But I got over my humbuggery *just* enough to write you this romance-themed list.

You'll probably be too busy to read them anyway...

Learn Love in a Week - Andrew Clover

Polly has been married to Arthur for ten years when she meets James Hammond. He's her Road Not Taken. The One That Got Away. He's also rich, and, in one week he's inviting his converted monastery in the country to give her the job she's always wanted. He also wants her. Her best friend Em says, 'Go.' Em's spent two years with a man who resists commitment like a dog resists a bath. She understands how it feels to be stuck. But she has her own interest in Polly's husband. Meanwhile, Arthur says: 'Stay. I can change.' But can he? After ten years, can you learn to love? And if you can, would you still choose your partner?

The Chocolate Kiss - Laura Florand
At La Maison des Sorcieres, the window display is an enchanted forest of sweets, a collection of conical hats delights the eye and the habitues nibble chocolate witches from fanciful mismatched china. While in their tiny blue kitchen, Magalie Chaudron and her two aunts stir wishes into bubbling pots of heavenly chocolat chaud. But no amount of wishing will rid them of interloper Philippe Lyonais, who has the gall to open one of his world famous pastry shops right down the street. Philippe's creations seem to hold a magic of their own, drawing crowds of beautiful women to their little isle amidst the Seine, and tempting even Magalie to venture out of her ivory tower and take a chance, a taste...a kiss.

Valentine's Dream

Valentine's Day can be a time of wonderful surprises, even for those who aren't looking for love.  Here are three charming classic stories of unexpected romance, passion and desire.

How to Keep a Boy From Kissing You - Tara Eglington

Sweet sixteen and never been kissed - and that's the way Aurora Skye wants it to be. She's too busy finding Potential Princes for her two best friends, counseling her sensitive New Age dad and dealing with the unexpected return of her long-absent mum. But always in the background there's Hayden Paris, the boy next door, the bane of Aurora's life. Smart, funny, and always around to see her at her worst, he 'gets' her like no-one else...and that's what makes him so infuriating. When Aurora and Hayden are coerced into the lead roles in the school production of Much Ado About Nothing, things can only get worse. How is Aurora going to save her first kiss for the secret admirer who wooed her with poetry and a spectacular bunch of flowers on Valentine's Day if she doesn't know who he is and she's obligated to lock lips with Hayden in the play's final dramatic clinch?

Valentine's Card - Juliet Ashton
The Valentine's card was meant to be Orla's fairy tale ending, but really, it was only the beginning ...Orla adores her actor boyfriend, Sim, who's away filming a sumptuous costume drama. Although the long-distance relationship means that she can eat toast for dinner and watch as much reality TV as she likes, she misses him like crazy. But Valentine's Day changes everything ...The same morning Orla learns that Sim has died, she receives a card from him. As Orla travels from Ireland to London, to live and breathe Sim's final moments, can she bring herself to open the Valentine's card and read his final message.

Blazing the Trail - Deborah Cooke

It's almost Valentine's Day, and Zoë Sorensson's love life is heating up. Cute, loyal, and understanding, wolf shifter Derek is pretty much the perfect guy. He likes Zoë, and he knows what it's like to have to keep a secret. Yet, Zoë can't help but wish it was rebel Jared asking her to the Valentine's dance instead. But Jared's too busy playing hot and cold with her heart, calling Zoë his dragon girl one minute and then taking special interest in her best friend the next. Zoë is just about ready to breathe fire, especially once she uncovers a new threat. Although Zoë thought the Mages were defeated, they're back and have invoked an old spell to give them new power--they plan to eliminate all shape shifters on the night of the big dance. Now, Zoë must lead an alliance of young shifters to battle the Mages and figure out exactly what--and who--she wants, before it all goes up in smoke…